Facebook Land Mines

Okay, I’ll admit it. I just don’t get some of the stuff on Facebook! I’ve got people chugging drinks at me, throwing food, sending me martinis, poking me, challenging me to games, winning jewels, and giving up city living to take up farming. None of this is real but I still don’t understand the why of it. Why would anyone be chugging virtual vodka when there’s a liquor store down the road? Why would anyone want the waste that delicious looking piece of virtual cake? What does it mean to be virtually poked? Will I virtually bruise?

And it all comes with this cryptic, totally unexplained warning: “Allowing XXXXXX access will let it pull your profile information, photos, your friends' info, and other content that it requires to work. By proceeding, you are allowing XXXXXX to access your information and you are agreeing to the XXXXXX Terms of Use.” What does this mean? What am I agreeing to? Pull it to where? For what purpose?

I voted in the “Let Obama Do His Job” Survey and was immediately carried to “The 10 Minute Mind Quiz”. I wouldn’t mind taking “The 10 Minute Mind Quiz” because I am essentially addicted to computer games, but if I take “The 10 Minute Mind Quiz” and want to find out how I did on “The 10 Minute Mind Quiz”, it seems I will be enrolled an auto renewing subscription service that will continue until canceled anytime by texting STOP to short code 40684 for a mere $9.99 per month or $4.99 per month for 2 alerts per week on Cricket. Will someone tell me WHAT IS A SHORT CODE? WHAT IS CRICKET?!

If I wish someone a happy birthday and don’t attach a virtual gift, am I cheap? Why would I pay for a virtual gift when I can buy a real one, assuming I could afford a real one?

I’m having fun with Facebook, finding old friends from high school and college, learning much too much about the private longings of my students and friends, confusing the lyrics they quote with their own angst. The best part about Facebook is that my son gets to teach me how to use it the way I used to teach him things like how to read or walk. I hope he didn’t feel like as much of an idiot as I do.