What does a nervous breakdown feel like? Does it involve a sudden desire to sell your house and everything in it? Does it involve a sudden desire to move back to New York or worse, into your mother’s house in Florida? Does it involve a sincere desire to sleep and an unwillingness to get into anything but gym clothes all day when you do manage to get up? It is 10 a.m. and I am clinging to the last few edges of the bed with a computer on my lap and my son’s dog sprawled in the center like she owns it. She presses all of her 50 pounds against me to get as close as possible leaving me crammed into the corner hanging on for dear life so I don’t tumble to the floor. That’s what my life is like these days: hanging on for dear life. In a world where actors willingly work for free, I can’t find someone willing to work for money. Okay, it’s not a lot of money, but still… I watched a documentary on journeyman actors- those guys whose faces you know but whose names you probably don’t. They talked about the difficulties of their careers. Yet I would gladly accept any one of their careers. Interestingly, there were no women in the documentary, as if women never achieve even journeyman status. When I did “Nurse Jackie” a while back, I optimistically thought it would open the door to other NY TV series. It didn’t. My part-time catering job, the one I liked because I could leave it without a thought, got stressful last week and made me think about it! Trying to build this theatre company is like pulling teeth. Is it time to leave that as well? I sent my business resume to a headhunter that was recommended to me and got a computerized response, not even a phone call in response to my question! So when does one give up? I am so close.