Family Vacations: Dynamics 101

There are three parts to a family vacation.

Part one is about excitement: the excitement of going, the excitement of being there, the excitement of seeing everyone, of planning how to spend the days and evenings ahead. There is lots of hugging, lots of laughter. Then the reality starts to set in.

Part two begins with the dawning realization that it is impossible to get everybody on the same page. There are three factions within this category: Person A, who wants to go “there” or do “that”; Person B who doesn’t want to go “there” or do “that”; and Those Who Don’t Care. Note: Persons A and B may change from day to day, event to event. Those Who Don’t Care fall into two categories: Category one people are genuinely thrilled to do anything as long as everyone is happy. Category two people are those who SAY they don’t care but then complain about every choice. Those Who Don’t Care Category Two can be particularly annoying because they have abdicated any responsibility in the decision making process, leaving Persons A & B slug it out while Those Who Don’t Care Category One cower in a guest bedroom. Occasionally Those Who Don’t Care (Category one) come out to tell Persons A & B to shut up, prompting Persons A & B to turn on Those Who Don’t Care with the full force of their frustration, causing Those Who Don’t Care to escalate the drama even further with cries of “What are you yelling at me for?” The situation further deteriorates when you realize it is impossible to get everybody dressed and out to dinner house in less than two hours with only two bathrooms and a 25 gallon hot water heater. Add unseasonably inclement weather to the mix and it is a recipe for disaster. Warning: the addition of inordinate amounts of alcohol, while contributing to purgative bouts of laughter, can have adverse effects on some people.

Part three begins when everyone realizes that vacation is almost over. They start thinking about returning to work, missing each other, of all the time they wasted arguing, and the stress of repacking, getting to the airport and dealing with Security. It ends with guarded apologies, heartfelt thanks, and tearful goodbyes. Painful memories recede and are replaced with warm recollections of the good times. Hundreds of pictures of smiling faces showing no sign of any sort of discord are sorted and shared. Plans are begun for the next getaway.