35 Days to a Better Me

First let me say that I still look okay. I saw a picture of myself taken just the other day. I was nicely dressed, make-up was on, and it was not a frightening picture. Still, I now weigh what I weighed on the day I gave birth to my son and that freaks me out. “You’re older” you might say. Well I know that!!!! The trouble is, I don’t get it. My grandmother was old when she was my age. Not me. I listen to the music my son listens to. Okay, I have his iPod, but I don’t hate it. Okay, I hate the rap stuff, but I really like a lot of it! I am not going gently into that good night. I am fighting it with every ounce of strength I can muster and every Tylenol I can get my hands on to ease the aches I wake up with every day. But I am trying.

My Nutrisystem package arrived today bringing me 35 days of breakfast, lunch, dinner and dessert especially designed to reduce the pounds that have adhered to my frame, ten pounds per decade, as if by appointment, regardless of diet, exercise, resolutions or wishing them away. Before I even opened the package I think I lost a pound… lifting it, that is. The delivery man dropped it on the porch as if he had gone far enough and the rest was up to me. I was starving so I ripped it open and treated myself to a tiny serving of Bean and Ham soup. Not great but I didn’t gag. God was good to give us salt and pepper. By dinner time I was also being grateful for garlic and the tablespoon of olive oil that would comprise my fat intake for the day. The tomato sauce vaguely reminded me of Chef Boyardee, something I had lost my taste for by the time I was five. By this time I had taken a closer look at the variety I was to look forward to for the next month. There’s a lot of tomato sauce. I ran to the supermarket and filled up one of those reusable bags with some fruits and vegetables, fat free cottage cheese, fat free yogurt and fat free salad dressing. You have to do a lot of eating on this diet; more than I’m used to. Consequently, after the salad and the veggies and the not-quite-awful entrée, I became slightly nauseas. Perhaps this is how the diet works. You simply get too nauseas to eat.

I intend to stick to it. My I paid for it so I will eat it. That is my belief; order anything you want but eat what you order. Well, that’s my mantra at restaurants anyway. Now I have to put my mouth where my money is. I have ordered 35 days of vacuum packed sealed foods that don’t even have to be refrigerated, which I don’t even understand how that is possible, and I will eat what I have ordered. And at the end of 35 days I will be thinner; otherwise there is no point to this exercise. I will use these 35 days to change my eating habits: portion control; more fruits and vegetables; fewer sweets; more water. I just wonder, if I can change a habit in 35 days, can I also train my taste buds to look forward to these meals? And if that happens, will I ever be the same? 34 and 1/3 days to go.